ME THREE MONTHS AGO

Me Three Months Ago: "Hey Mom I'm off for two weeks in the summer, wanna go hang in the city one day?  Maybe see a show or somethin?  Would be real nice to see you, ayuh."
Mom: "What a wonderful idea!  What shall we see, son?"
Me Three Months Ago: "Let's go see The Book Of Mormon.  Supposed to be awesome."
Mom:  "Oh no no, is that the one from the guys who do that show you like...South Park?"
Me Three Months Ago: "Yeah, South Park is awesome. They teamed up with the guy who did Avenue Q.  Avenue Q was awesome too.  Saw it twice."
Mom:  "No no no. That show is stupid and vulgar.  And wasn't Avenue Q the one with the puppets?  Harumph!  Harumph!"
Me Three Months Ago: "The Book Of Mormon got great write-ups, it's nominated for a bunch of Tony Awards, including Best Musical.  Believe the hype on this one.  South Park is insane, but it's great, it's clever.  Trey & Matt are geniuses, they speak truths about society in an over-the-top comic way.  It's a cartoon, but it's intelligent, thought-provoking stuff.  They also did a marionette movie that depicted puppet fucking and who can forget Cannibal: The Musical?  They have a strong resume!  Come on, it's gonna be awesome, let's go!"
Mom: "No, there's got to be something else we haven't seen."
Me Three Months Ago: "Mom we saw Jersey Boys, that was excellent.  Million Dollar Quartet was cool, too.  You know I'm down for anything musical, I even kinda liked Wicked.  Book Of Mormom is gonna be the best show we can see, I'm telling you.  It's gonna win Best Musical and then it's gonna be impossible to get tickets.  You know how these things work!  This is how I didn't get to see Young Frankenstein or The Producers!  And we're gonna get stuck seeing Footloose!  Trust me on this one!"
Mom: "Bah, humbug.  Yadda yadda farting yadda yadda oh my god they killed Kenny yadda yadda offensive."
Me Today: "Hey Mom, wanna go see Footloose?"

My mom is actually really cool.  She loves Jimi Hendrix, Prince, and took me to see Ferris Bueller's Day Off and all the Muppet movies.  She cries at the end of It's A Wonderful Life just like I do.  But you dropped the ball on this one, Mama.

In spite of our differences over the fundamental values of adult-oriented animated series (Mom dislikes The Simpsons too - shame on her), I owe a big part of my musical passion and (whatever sort of) career (you want to call this) to my parents.  They sat me at the piano, they bought me my first drum set, and at least 3 keyboards, including the dinosaur Korg-01/WFD sequencing keyboard that I wrote about 200 songs on, including a lot of songs that would show up on the first Q*Ball album (remember that?).  They surely cringed in horror as I sang along to Vulgar Display Of Power, the first Mr. Bungle album, and Paul's Boutique on repeat at extremely high volumes.  They put up with the noise (sometimes) and the musical congregations in their basement and in my broom closet of a room, where giant samplers and analog synths first ran amok, overtaking furniture, surrounded by a fort of books, toys, heavy metal magazines, and compact discs.

I don't hate my parents for unwittingly cursing me into wanting to make it in a business run by cutthroats and pirates.  They were only being hippies.  I do wish that they owned my Return To Earth albums, though.  I could really use the money.  And so could Metal Blade.

Happy Anniversary to my awesome parents.  37 years of awesomeness in between all of life's bullshit!  Now go make some whoopee.

 

Ron Asks Ron: 5 Questions

To commemorate the release of the new Bumblefoot single "Father," Bald Freak's lead douchebag Ron Scalzo (Q*Ball/Return To Earth) sat down with bearded rabbi vunderkind Ron Thal to discuss the latest tune in the Bumblefoot pantheon.

RS:  Tell me about "Father" - seems like a very personal song that was inspired by your relationship with your Dad - what prompted you to write and record it?

BBF:  Without getting into details of family, it's based on real life.

RS:  Real Life, the new wave band who sang "Send Me An Angel"?  Love those guys.  I'm sure they're honored, but I don't think "Father" sounds anything like them.

RS:  So...coming from the guy who's written such irreverent classics as "Don Pardo Pimpwagon," "Brooklyn Steakhouse," and "Dirty Pant'loons," your more recent tunes have taken a more serious turn. Do you attribute this to anything in particular? Getting older? Being in GnR? Jewish guilt?

BBF:  It's just a phase.  I'll snap out of it.

RS:  Will you?  Maybe I should put my Cher wig on and slap you in the face and scream "Snap out of it!"  I bet that would help. 

RS:  What's the better tune - your new single "Father," Danzig's "Mother," or DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's "Parents Just Don't Understand"?

BBF:  They go from worst to best in that order.

RS:  Actually, it was a trick question - the answer is actually "Oh Father" by Madonna.

RS:  The artwork for your new singles is top-notch. In the past, you've handled artwork and photography for your full-length albums. Now Australian graphic artist Dan Verkys is the man behind your single art. How did you hook up with Dan?

BBF:  Dan comes highly recommended by Australian guitarist friend Chris Skzup.  In the past I'd torture myself over the art, now every month I get to torture Dan.  And I get to highly recommend Dan to the world - the guy is fuckin great.

RS:  I agree, he's dead fucking sexy.  And so is Chris Szkup.  They're pretty much the reason why Australia was voted World's Sexiest Continent 2007.

RS:  You've now done two originals and three cover songs since going the single-a-month route. Are you planning to even things out next month with a new original or should we expect your interpretation of another classic song?

BBF:  I don't know if I'll have enough time to get a new original out for June, about to put on my 'producer hat' and hibernate in the studio with a bunch of bands for a few months.  I've missed that.  June may be the last month of my own music for a while, we'll see if I can do both and make it happen!

Pick up 'Father' - the new single from Bumblefoot - here! 

Ron Asks Ron: 5 Questions

To commemorate the release of the new Bumblefoot single "Invisible," Bald Freak's head honcho Ron Scalzo (Q*Ball/Return To Earth) sat down with Ron Thal and his beard to discuss the latest, greatest tune in the Bumblefoot catalog.

RS:  'Invisible' is your first piece of original material since 2008's Abnormal album - you never intended to record and release the song as 'Bumblefoot' - why the change of heart?

BBF:  It seemed like it was meant to happen the way it happened - it wasn't the original plan, but I'm glad it worked out the way it did...   gotta embrace the unexpected.

RS:  Let's get deep. Your fans are very hardcore, and as one myself, I can attest that one of the biggest reasons is because of the way you seem to make what you play, sing, and write seem effortless in spite of its complicated technical nature. You're not one to just strap on a guitar and wank off - you sing like a champ, you write with soul, you know how to craft a solid rock tune - and oh yeah....you engineer, mix, and master it all yourself. Do you feel like you're your own worst critic? And are you aware that you are a maniac?

BBF:  Thanks man.  Not really a critic, more like I put on the 'producer hat' and give it all my best.  When producing an artist or band, I'm overseeing the songwriting, arrangement, performance and recording, mixing, mastering, making sure the best efforts were made and everything is at its best in the end.  I guess doing that for myself, to myself, I might have to be a bit of a nut too, haha.

RS:  If I granted you the power of invisibility, would you use your powers for good or evil, and what would be your first self-appointed mission?

BBF:  To sneak up on my beard and shave it off.

RS:  This new 'disposable era' of releasing music - free downloads, file sharing - the whole "Here, take it" philosophy that many artists & labels are starting to make a regular practice, including you and I - has its benefits for fans. As an artist, how does it affect your expectations when releasing something new?

BBF:  As long as people like the song - I'm just happy as fuck to be writing, recording and releasing music again, it's what I love to do.

RS:  Ron's Beard is notably monstrous in the forthcoming music video for 'Invisible'. Removing a beard of that girth at this point would be monumental. Do you plan to keep it around or induct it into The Ron Thal Hall of Fame alongside the Swiss Cheese guitar, the thimble, the red wool hat, your hot sauce fetish, and 'Lesbian Onion'?

BBF:  I think I have more hair on the bottom of my head than the top now.  The music video - it was filmed where we played in the light, and then filmed as we played in darkness with night vision cameras.  When editing is done for both videos, I'll release them both - two vids for the song, played in the light and in the dark...   back to video editing, aaahhh!!!!

 

Pick up 'Invisible' - the new single from Bumblefoot - here!