ME THREE MONTHS AGO

Me Three Months Ago: "Hey Mom I'm off for two weeks in the summer, wanna go hang in the city one day?  Maybe see a show or somethin?  Would be real nice to see you, ayuh."
Mom: "What a wonderful idea!  What shall we see, son?"
Me Three Months Ago: "Let's go see The Book Of Mormon.  Supposed to be awesome."
Mom:  "Oh no no, is that the one from the guys who do that show you like...South Park?"
Me Three Months Ago: "Yeah, South Park is awesome. They teamed up with the guy who did Avenue Q.  Avenue Q was awesome too.  Saw it twice."
Mom:  "No no no. That show is stupid and vulgar.  And wasn't Avenue Q the one with the puppets?  Harumph!  Harumph!"
Me Three Months Ago: "The Book Of Mormon got great write-ups, it's nominated for a bunch of Tony Awards, including Best Musical.  Believe the hype on this one.  South Park is insane, but it's great, it's clever.  Trey & Matt are geniuses, they speak truths about society in an over-the-top comic way.  It's a cartoon, but it's intelligent, thought-provoking stuff.  They also did a marionette movie that depicted puppet fucking and who can forget Cannibal: The Musical?  They have a strong resume!  Come on, it's gonna be awesome, let's go!"
Mom: "No, there's got to be something else we haven't seen."
Me Three Months Ago: "Mom we saw Jersey Boys, that was excellent.  Million Dollar Quartet was cool, too.  You know I'm down for anything musical, I even kinda liked Wicked.  Book Of Mormom is gonna be the best show we can see, I'm telling you.  It's gonna win Best Musical and then it's gonna be impossible to get tickets.  You know how these things work!  This is how I didn't get to see Young Frankenstein or The Producers!  And we're gonna get stuck seeing Footloose!  Trust me on this one!"
Mom: "Bah, humbug.  Yadda yadda farting yadda yadda oh my god they killed Kenny yadda yadda offensive."
Me Today: "Hey Mom, wanna go see Footloose?"

My mom is actually really cool.  She loves Jimi Hendrix, Prince, and took me to see Ferris Bueller's Day Off and all the Muppet movies.  She cries at the end of It's A Wonderful Life just like I do.  But you dropped the ball on this one, Mama.

In spite of our differences over the fundamental values of adult-oriented animated series (Mom dislikes The Simpsons too - shame on her), I owe a big part of my musical passion and (whatever sort of) career (you want to call this) to my parents.  They sat me at the piano, they bought me my first drum set, and at least 3 keyboards, including the dinosaur Korg-01/WFD sequencing keyboard that I wrote about 200 songs on, including a lot of songs that would show up on the first Q*Ball album (remember that?).  They surely cringed in horror as I sang along to Vulgar Display Of Power, the first Mr. Bungle album, and Paul's Boutique on repeat at extremely high volumes.  They put up with the noise (sometimes) and the musical congregations in their basement and in my broom closet of a room, where giant samplers and analog synths first ran amok, overtaking furniture, surrounded by a fort of books, toys, heavy metal magazines, and compact discs.

I don't hate my parents for unwittingly cursing me into wanting to make it in a business run by cutthroats and pirates.  They were only being hippies.  I do wish that they owned my Return To Earth albums, though.  I could really use the money.  And so could Metal Blade.

Happy Anniversary to my awesome parents.  37 years of awesomeness in between all of life's bullshit!  Now go make some whoopee.

 

Ron Asks Ron: 5 Questions

To commemorate the release of the new Bumblefoot single "Father," Bald Freak's lead douchebag Ron Scalzo (Q*Ball/Return To Earth) sat down with bearded rabbi vunderkind Ron Thal to discuss the latest tune in the Bumblefoot pantheon.

RS:  Tell me about "Father" - seems like a very personal song that was inspired by your relationship with your Dad - what prompted you to write and record it?

BBF:  Without getting into details of family, it's based on real life.

RS:  Real Life, the new wave band who sang "Send Me An Angel"?  Love those guys.  I'm sure they're honored, but I don't think "Father" sounds anything like them.

RS:  So...coming from the guy who's written such irreverent classics as "Don Pardo Pimpwagon," "Brooklyn Steakhouse," and "Dirty Pant'loons," your more recent tunes have taken a more serious turn. Do you attribute this to anything in particular? Getting older? Being in GnR? Jewish guilt?

BBF:  It's just a phase.  I'll snap out of it.

RS:  Will you?  Maybe I should put my Cher wig on and slap you in the face and scream "Snap out of it!"  I bet that would help. 

RS:  What's the better tune - your new single "Father," Danzig's "Mother," or DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's "Parents Just Don't Understand"?

BBF:  They go from worst to best in that order.

RS:  Actually, it was a trick question - the answer is actually "Oh Father" by Madonna.

RS:  The artwork for your new singles is top-notch. In the past, you've handled artwork and photography for your full-length albums. Now Australian graphic artist Dan Verkys is the man behind your single art. How did you hook up with Dan?

BBF:  Dan comes highly recommended by Australian guitarist friend Chris Skzup.  In the past I'd torture myself over the art, now every month I get to torture Dan.  And I get to highly recommend Dan to the world - the guy is fuckin great.

RS:  I agree, he's dead fucking sexy.  And so is Chris Szkup.  They're pretty much the reason why Australia was voted World's Sexiest Continent 2007.

RS:  You've now done two originals and three cover songs since going the single-a-month route. Are you planning to even things out next month with a new original or should we expect your interpretation of another classic song?

BBF:  I don't know if I'll have enough time to get a new original out for June, about to put on my 'producer hat' and hibernate in the studio with a bunch of bands for a few months.  I've missed that.  June may be the last month of my own music for a while, we'll see if I can do both and make it happen!

Pick up 'Father' - the new single from Bumblefoot - here! 

Ron Asks Ron: 5 Questions

To commemorate the release of the new Bumblefoot single "Invisible," Bald Freak's head honcho Ron Scalzo (Q*Ball/Return To Earth) sat down with Ron Thal and his beard to discuss the latest, greatest tune in the Bumblefoot catalog.

RS:  'Invisible' is your first piece of original material since 2008's Abnormal album - you never intended to record and release the song as 'Bumblefoot' - why the change of heart?

BBF:  It seemed like it was meant to happen the way it happened - it wasn't the original plan, but I'm glad it worked out the way it did...   gotta embrace the unexpected.

RS:  Let's get deep. Your fans are very hardcore, and as one myself, I can attest that one of the biggest reasons is because of the way you seem to make what you play, sing, and write seem effortless in spite of its complicated technical nature. You're not one to just strap on a guitar and wank off - you sing like a champ, you write with soul, you know how to craft a solid rock tune - and oh yeah....you engineer, mix, and master it all yourself. Do you feel like you're your own worst critic? And are you aware that you are a maniac?

BBF:  Thanks man.  Not really a critic, more like I put on the 'producer hat' and give it all my best.  When producing an artist or band, I'm overseeing the songwriting, arrangement, performance and recording, mixing, mastering, making sure the best efforts were made and everything is at its best in the end.  I guess doing that for myself, to myself, I might have to be a bit of a nut too, haha.

RS:  If I granted you the power of invisibility, would you use your powers for good or evil, and what would be your first self-appointed mission?

BBF:  To sneak up on my beard and shave it off.

RS:  This new 'disposable era' of releasing music - free downloads, file sharing - the whole "Here, take it" philosophy that many artists & labels are starting to make a regular practice, including you and I - has its benefits for fans. As an artist, how does it affect your expectations when releasing something new?

BBF:  As long as people like the song - I'm just happy as fuck to be writing, recording and releasing music again, it's what I love to do.

RS:  Ron's Beard is notably monstrous in the forthcoming music video for 'Invisible'. Removing a beard of that girth at this point would be monumental. Do you plan to keep it around or induct it into The Ron Thal Hall of Fame alongside the Swiss Cheese guitar, the thimble, the red wool hat, your hot sauce fetish, and 'Lesbian Onion'?

BBF:  I think I have more hair on the bottom of my head than the top now.  The music video - it was filmed where we played in the light, and then filmed as we played in darkness with night vision cameras.  When editing is done for both videos, I'll release them both - two vids for the song, played in the light and in the dark...   back to video editing, aaahhh!!!!

 

Pick up 'Invisible' - the new single from Bumblefoot - here!

Why I Signed The Head Set

Nearly 3 years ago, I discovered The Head Set in CMJ's New Music Report.  Their album, Way Past Used, was being reviewed, and favorably - a small blurb comparing the band to big-market acts like U2 and The Killers.  I streamed songs on their MySpace page and was immediately impressed by the musicianship, the singer, the quality of the songwriting.  The opening track in particular, "Enemies", reeked of commercial appeal.  I was surprised to discover that they were based out of NY and were playing at Mercury Lounge a few weeks down the road.  I reached out to the band and was quickly invited down by guitarist Eliot Wadsworth.

It was a cold March night on the Lower East Side, I stumbled in to Mercury Lounge solo wearing my night stalker trench coat and a thick wool hat and - uncharacteristically - made my way to the very front of the crowd right before the band started.  If any of these guys were conscious of the audience at that point, they surely must have thought, "Who's that serial killer up front?"

The set was electric, and a friendly chat with Eliot at the bar after the show gave me some answers - The Head Set were signed to a publishing deal with Sony ATV, they had representation, they were nice guys, they seemed like they were on their way.  However, they had no label and we agreed to stay in touch.  I saw them again at Mercury a few months later, brought some friends.  Then at The Annex, same deal.  Met their representatives, exchanged business cards.  Over this period of time, I expected to hear some good news - that the band signed to a major or at least a big indie, putting out a new album, that they were touring.  Nothing.

This, of course, was not the band's fault.  They put their faith and their music in the hands of their people, like most bands do, and probably expected more to happen beyond playing local clubs every month or so.  They had a deal with a big publishing company and were likely expecting placement in ads, on a soundtrack.  They got a nice advance and dedicated time and money towards making more quality music, what a band is supposed to do.

A decade earlier, I was in a similar band - a pop/rock act called The Substance.  We foolishly jumped at the chance to sign with an unknown indie who proceeded to do all the wrong things to promote our debut album.  We hired management who were stuck in the previous decade and were trying to carry that success into a new age of music making and promotion.  We played big shows opening for big acts (at the time) like Sugar Ray, yet something always went wrong and stunted our momentum.  We showcased for every major label A&R numbnuts on the planet - Jason Flom called us "too Britpop," Andy Karp from Atlantic was too busy signing Kid Rock to be impressed with us.  We laughed at Andy Karp's Kid Rock hat when he came to see us - Kid Rock was a no-name white trash Beastie Boys wannabe at the time rather than the Sheryl Crow-banging, Tommy Lee-fisticuffing, Lynyrd Skynyrd-sampling white trash Beastie Boys wannabe we all know and love (?) today.  Andy Karp laughed all the way to the Bawidtda-bank and we were still without a deal.  We played for Kevin Richardson of The Backstreet Boys (!), had a handshake deal with their management company that fell thru at the 11th hour.  Eventually, the many failures outweighed the successes and I left the band.  The Substance changed their name, went thru the whole process once more without me and failed again.

So I understood what The Head Set were going through.  They had what it took to be successful, but they were surrounded by people who didn't, and it eventually got to them.  They all had day jobs, Harvard grads, smart guys with contingency plans.  Eliot departed to go to UCLA Business School, bassist Brett Sherman moved to Cleveland.  The band, effectively, was kaput.

The Head Set's story is representative of everything that's wrong with the musical "farm system" in the 21st century.  Band has potential, band has great songs, band gets signed, person who signs and waves flag for band gets laid off, band gets lost in the shuffle, band gets re-prioritized, band gets forgotten, band gets frustrated, band dissolves.  It started in the late '90s and by the time the ol' dot-com bubble burst a few years later, The Head Set were just another great act that didn't "make it" because there wasn't enough gladhanding going on, not enough favors done under the table to make them the next Strokes or Kings of Leon.  Does anyone remember a time when bands were signed and promoted simply on merit?  Neither do I.

Time passed.  Eliot and I stayed in touch from opposite coasts, and eventually I got together with lead singer Jordan Blaugrund and got the latest - no more Sony, no more management.  Both guys sent over new material that had been lying around without a home, and that reignited a spark.  These songs needed to see the light of day - so what if the band wasn't technically together?  Good music is good music.  Eliot came back from California, we made it happen, professionally and painlessly.

The Head Set and Bald Freak are in business - Lord knows what I can do to make a difference, but I'll pull out every card in my deck to get it done.  Maybe some of these great new songs will hit the radio, maybe we'll get them in ads or on a soundtrack.  Maybe nothing will happen despite everyone's best efforts.  This is the music business, after all.

What *is* already happening is that the band is rehearsing again whenever they can.  They're excited to be doing it, maybe they have another album in them, maybe more.  Time will tell.  They haven't peaked yet, that's for sure, and an opportunity or two can make all the difference in the world.  When the signing finally seemed imminent, I had a super-nerd fist pump moment - this was really happening after a 3-year courtship.  Persistence paid off for once.  Bald Freak isn't exactly a breeding ground for commercial success and yet these dudes still wanted to pull the trigger.  Unlikely scenarios can still play out.  The stars aligned.  Now we just have to keep them in place.

If you like U2, The Police, The Strokes, The Killers, David Bowie, Neon Trees, Bruce Springsteen, Elefant, Elvis Costello, Television, The Jam, British modern rock, indie rock from NYC with soul and a groove, you will love The Head Set.  'Like' them on Facebook.  Tweet about them, chirp your little asses off.  Spread the word.  This is big for them and it's big for us.  If you're on the East Coast, come see them perform on March 10th at Tammany Hall.  Big big night for us.  Buy their albums (their debut EP, Ask Her Twice, is no slouch either) and get ready for a new one in May.

This is about justice.  This is what running a label is all about.

Ron Asks Ron: 5 Questions

In celebration of Bumblefoot's recent release of his cover version of The Four Tops' "Bernadette," label head Ron Scalzo (Q*Ball, Return To Earth) sits down with Ron Thal to dig deeper in this week's '5 Questions'.

Q:  So far you've released covers from Tom Jones, Frankie Valli, and now The Four Tops. Any common theme there?

BBF:  Yes, the common theme is my PHENOMENAL fucking taste in music.  Haha, yeah, I love old Motown & lounge music, great stuff.  

Q:  Is this your favorite Motown song or even your favorite Four Tops song? Why 'Bernadette'?

BBF:  Don't know if I have a favorite song - anything Stevie Wonder, Tops, Smokey Robinson...  "Tracks Of My Tears," "I Was Made To Love Her," "Baby I Need Your Lovin'"...   all those feel-good songs...   "Bernadette" just felt right - such a good song, it works any which way ya play it.

Q:  I've dubbed you 'The Human Jukebox' in interviews I've done. Can you explain your uncanny ability to play pretty much any popular song on the guitar simply from memory, specifically older tunes - cheezy 80s songs, bad metal, Motown stuff? It's a pretty cool party trick.

BBF:  Ya left out the old 30's jazz standards...   I just love music.  Hey wait, there is no *bad* metal....!
 

  

Q:  Oh there's plenty, sir.  You've got some more cover songs in the works - care to fill us in on what songs and how it's going?

BBF:  Would rather keep the songs a surprise, but they're all from the 60s & 70s...

Q:  Party pooper.  How does Ron's Beard feel about you putting this song out? And if all of the Four Tops' mustaches banded together to battle Ron's Beard, do you think they could defeat it?

BBF:  Ron's Beard would probably tell you to send 5 other questions.

Q:  Ron's Beard can suck it.

"Bernadette" by Bumblefoot - available now at iTunes, CD Baby, and Bald Freak Music online.